Logan's Weekly Participation at School

To my surprised, I found a half sheet of paper clipped to Logan's sign in sheet at school this morning. They didn't mention this to me. It may have been in the enrollment package... which I did not read word for word. It was nice to read about what he did and things he's learned.


It's only the 4th week since he started. He still wakes up saying "I don't want to go to school mommy" and he still gives me a sad face with teary eyes when I leave him at school. He still blows kisses at the window and waves...


Today was the first day I had to drop off all 3 kids since daddy's schedule changed. While talking to his daddy on the phone in the car he said "We're taking Connor and baby to yiyi's (nanny) house but I'm not going because I have to go to school". I see this as, at least he's acknowledging that he's going to school.


I will be posting these monthly? I haven't decided yet... but this first one deserves it's own post :)

Oatmeal Bath For Eczema

All three of my boys had eczema. I think my youngest has gotten the worse of it. Some days it starts to look better and in an instant, it's raised, irritated and oozing...

My poor little man. It gets so bad that there will be days I keep in a velcro swaddle blanket so that he doesn't scratch himself. I've already put socks on his hands because he's scratched his head to the point where it bleeds.

He's currently on oral antibiotics and prescription 2.5% Hydrocortizone. I feel so bad for him. I decided to stop using it and researched about Borage Oil for Eczema. I have such caring people at work (who suggested this oil) and was telling me how Borage Oil worked for her daughter. So I went out to buy the capsules and have been applying it to his cheeks & chin area (the worse parts).

While researching, I came across Colloidal Oatmeal for skin problems. I knew that oatmeal helps soothe in baths but I completely forgot about it. I've used oatmeal baths to relieve my own skin issues growing up. For unknown reasons I would break out in hives. I never did figure out what the cause was. I had for a whole year when I was 16 (everyday). 

When I bought the Borage Oil, I also bought about 1/2 lbs of rolled oats.

I put a handful of the oats into a grinder and grinded until it was powdery. According to all the instructions I found online, you can test it by putting some in a cup of warm water & it should soak up the water and make it milky and silky. I had to grind mine again because the first time it was too coarse and just kinda sank to the bottom! haha. There shouldn't be any oatmeal sinking to the bottom. 

Too loud... don't ask why he has no pants. He always takes off his pants. LOL

I stored it in a mason jar. 

Sprinkle about 2 tbsp under running water (depending on how much water you use - I used a little baby tub). Just think about how much comes in a little pack of Aveeno Colloidal Oatmeal bath. Remember to use warm water and not hot since hot water makes itching worse. 

 
I bathed my baby in the oatmeal for about 15-20 minutes. His baths are usual quick (5 mins) to avoid over drying his skin. Always pat skin dry (no rubbing little sensitive skins!). 

I couldn't resist taking one with him! 

Logan's Work of Art

Logan has this fascination with feathers. This is one of the stranger things (I think) because he's usually interested in lawn mowers, vacuum cleaners, weed whackers, sprinklers, guns, volcanoes, etc...


Every time we go to Walmart, I always go into the crafts section and he always pull a feather off a Boa (shhhh!). It started when he was very young. I recall taking a photo of him when he was younger and he loved the feathers from the Boas I had (and no, I didn't take photos of him with the Boas!).


He's in his 2nd week of preschool and although he seems to enjoy it during the day and isn't in a rush to leave... dropping him off has been rough. He wakes up saying "I don't want to go to school mommy" and cries when I leave him at the preschool.


He showed me his art work yesterday when I picked him up. He was finishing up with gluing the feathers to paper. He then put it in the "dryer" (it's a rack - how cute ^_^) and this morning I asked him to show it to me and so I took it to display at my cubicle.

Babies Plugged Ducts

Unfortunately all my boys had plugged ducts. My first had it for 8 months. His eyes would get all gunky and sometimes even sealed shut from the gunk drying up. We were always doing a warm compress and massaging his eyes. It was gross to see all the gunk come out when I massage the tear ducts. He had it on his left eye. One day he woke up and it just disappeared!


Connor had it as a newborn and only for a short period of time. It was also his left eye. We had to use antibiotic ointment once but it cleared up by itself. At around 3 months he got it again and I don't recall it sticking around for very long (about a month?).


Dustin also needed antibiotic ointment for his right eye. It went away but then it came back so I started to ointment again (because I had left overs and his doctor recommended). We saw his new doctor in January (back at Kaiser) and they said to stop the ointment and that warm compress and massage is the best for his eyes. It doesn't look bad but it's hard to tell because he also has bad eczema and is taking antibiotic for the bacteria infection on his face. He scratches and it seems to have spread to his eye area too.


Here they are with their warm compress over their eye.

A Typical Evening

I wanted to share this evening because I want to remember it...




I picked up the boys after work. and headed home.




As soon as we got in the house, I put Dustin (5 months) down (sleeping in car seat). I make myself a bowl of noodles while the other boys play. There were no noodles left so I had to boil a pot of water and cook the noodles. Connor (23 months) kept coming around to the kitchen where TWO pots of hot water/soup is on at the stove... I keep trying to get him to go play somewhere else.




I finally sit to eat but Dustin is now up and I'm rocking his seat as I eat and he's crying. Logan (4 years) tells me he's hungry and asks when dinner is ready. I explained that as soon as I'm done, I will fix his dinner. He continued to play.


I finally get Dustin out and nursed him. Then I placed him in the exersaucer. It's a stand up play gym (like a walker but stationary). I fixed the boys dinner and started feeding Connor. Logan ate his dinner super fast (unusual). He must have been hungry. Connor started to spit his food out onto the floor and laughing. I gave him juice and scooped Logan some ice cream (for eating all his dinner). During this time, Dustin is crying and screaming. I asked Logan to keep him entertained.




I finally get to Dustin and realized I should probably change his diaper. I carried him to the changing table and was wondering why my tummy felt wet and smelling poop all at the same time. I just knew when I looked down that there will be a giant poop mess and I was right. His poop leaked out ALL OVER and onto me as I picked him up.
 

I put some yogurt snacks in a bowl for Connor who's still buckled to his seat at the table drinking his juice and playing on my old iPhone. I figured that would buy me some time. I asked Logan to keep an eye on him while I changed Dustin upstairs.




I ran Dustin up and took both of our clothes off (I'm still in undies and a bra). I washed him in the bath tub and as soon as I turned the water off (it was loud), I hear Connor crying and screaming and every couple of seconds saying "OUT! OUT!"




I lay Dustin down in bed, put on his diaper, covered his body with the towel and ran downstairs to get Connor (still wet and in my undies and bra).


I get down and his bowl is on the floor upside down and the yogurt snacks... all over the floor. I grab him and ran back upstairs. I put him down on my rocking chair and started moisturizing Dustin (bad eczema). Connor has gotten out of the chair and locked himself in my bathroom. I hear a "thump" and he's crying. I can't open the door so I'm knocking and asking him to open the door so I can look at his boo boo. He opens it and points to the stool. I'm guessing he tried to climb it and fell. He's okay. 

Logan comes up after his ice cream and we took a selfie (still in my undies and bra!). LoL

Oh... it's just a bra. Pretend it's an ugly bikini top if it bothers you!

It calmed down a little but after a shower and brushing their teeth, it was story time. Logan ran down to get a book I just bought. He asked if Connor can come and I said no but I thought Connor left anyway. He. Did. Leave. To. The. Bathroom. Logan comes back up and tells me Connor is in the toilet. He's scooping the water. In his mouth!!? I don't know but I washed him up noting that there is a wash cloth, pez dispenser and one of those disposable floss in the toilet. As soon as I put him down. He grabs something else and runs for the toilet! I caught up to him this time. 

Most nights it's just as crazy as this night but this night was memorable lol. As crazy as I felt (like running around with my head cut off) I wasn't upset. I think I'm chuckling inside a little. Sure, I'm frustrated and exhausted but my kids are young. They're "kids" and babies, this is expected. I'll look back to moments like this and I'll miss it. I know I will. Miss the craziness? No, I'll miss that they were little. This young. So cute. So fun. 

Logan's First Day of Preschool

When your child starts going to school... (even preschool) you start to wonder where time has gone. Today was that day for me. Not only is my oldest starting preschool, I've returned to work because my "newborn" is 5 months and I'm off maternity leave. It feels like the more kids you have, the faster time flies!

I have been talking to Logan about going to preschool where he will meet teachers and new friends. I had hoped that he wouldn't cry and want me to stay or want to leave with me. I think the fact that I would be in the same building made him feel safer. The first preschool we toured was in a different location and he told me that if I left he would "have" to cry. Silly kid. Ever since I found out they had a spot for him in my building, he seemed excited!

I had to wake him up so early. While on leave, we woke up around 8:30-9. Getting up at 6 was probably not fun for him. We dropped off his brothers and off we went. He was excited. He asked me to help him put on his back pack when we were leaving my car. 

Inside the preschool, he started to roam around. I took some pictures of him and he said Good bye and I love you.

I was worried about him so I checked on him at 10:30 by phone. The teacher said he was doing well and was getting along with the other kids. They said he was playing outside. So I went to the window and took a picture of him so I can show him later. 

Paper airplane pointing at him.

I picked him up a little earlier to bring him back to my cubicle because I promised he could come check it out. He didn't seem in a rush to leave...

The teacher said he did great. He was very helpful. He got a little upset when it was nap time because he didn't want to nap but was okay when told he didn't have to. He helped get the mats down for the other kids and helped pack snacks for the next day. He didn't eat much. He had chicken and rice for lunch and some snacks.

Update: The next day (1/7) didn't go so well. Everything seemed ok until we got to the door. He said "I don't want to come here anymore mommy" I told him it was okay and that I'd be right upstairs and that seemed to calm him down. As I tried to leave he kept saying he didn't want to stay. He looked like he wanted to cry... or almost getting there with the red watery eyes and sad lips... breaks my heart. I hope he does better once he starts going more. I noticed there were a lot of younger kids. He said all the kids are bad and throw sand at each other and that they kept swiping toys from him.. (awe!). The teacher said he cried half the day. He kept talking about me or asking for me. It wasn't until after lunch that he started to come around and actually ate some lunch and played after. 

On the 3rd (1/8) day we brought his giraffe stuffed animal and he didn't cry when I dropped him off. They said he did good and even napped for 2 hours! When I asked him why he decided to nap that day, he said it was because he had his giraffe. 

1 week (1/13): Today was worse. He didn't want me to leave and the teacher had to hold him back while I left. I waved at the window and blew kisses. As mad as he was, he blew kisses back (sigh) I want to cry.

Fever of Unknown Origin

I never even heard of "Fever of unknown origin" before. It's probably because we always knew why our kids (or ourselves) have fevers. Most of the time it's because we have a bad cold. 

July 18, 2014. We went camping at Donner Lake Memorial State Park. It was hubby's birthday weekend and my first family camp trip with my side of the family. Not everyone made it but some of us did. 

We arrived Friday and there had been thunderstorm warnings. The weather was bizarre. The sky was gloomy orange. It was humid. But there was no rain. The next day we spent most of the day at the lake. Logan had to go "number 2" and daddy took him to the restrooms where there was no soap to wash hands. We had wipes back at the beach but no soap. 

Logan was napping that evening on the bed (in the trailer). I went to check on him and felt his body. He was unusually warm. 

When I told hubby he just thought it's because the weather was weird. Hot and humid. He seemed fine that evening except a little diarrhea (once). The next morning he felt warm again. I took his temp and it was higher than normal. I gave him Tylenol. When we got home on Monday he showed signs of a cold. Runny nose and a little cough. We thought maybe he caught something in the dirty bathrooms. 

During that week he still had fevers. I called the doctor on Friday because I didn't think it should last that long. We saw the dr at the Saturday clinic and took him to the lab for blood work (that was fun). Lots of fighting and screaming but he posed for a photo lol

The only results was that he had the common cold virus and was anemic. His fever continued. After 10 days he was admitted to the hospital. They ran tests for viruses and bacterial infections. I'm sure there were other tests but I'm 33 weeks pregnant and so stressed, my head is spinning, it was difficult to keep up with everything they were saying. I was just looking for answers. They sent us home after 3 nights and finding nothing. They said we can leave because we would just wait around on the weekends. Since they didn't know what he had, he was confined to the room. We all wanted to be home. 

A gift for our little man. Toothless Dragon.

He had endless Popsicles 

Face Time with little brother.

Happy to be out of his gown!

His fever continued at home. He would sometimes vomit and have diarrhea. It was inconsistent. He had high fevers around 102. On August 4, I took him in to see his primary doctor. That night I realized the baby wasn't moving and hasn't moved all day. I went to Labor and delivery at the hospital because I also started to have frequent Braxton Hicks contractions. They kept me overnight for monitoring and daddy had to take Logan to his follow up appt with the Infectious Disease (ID) clinic the next morning. After seeing him, they wanted him admitted back into the hospital. At the same time, baby wasn't doing well and the doctors said we needed to do a C-Section. What?!? Now?!? This couldn't have been the worst timing...we had to call my in laws to stay with Logan while daddy came with me to the operating room to welcome our baby boy 6 weeks early. 

I was so worried about Logan that this whole experience with giving birth to Dustin was not a happy experience. Dustin was doing great and was being cared for by the awesome NICU nurses. I visited Logan any chance I could between nursing times with Dustin at the NICU. 

Logan was weak and tired and had very little energy. He barely ate. And he used all his energy fighting & screaming during blood draws. He needed an IV on his hand. I would go back to my room at night and cry. I felt so helpless. So frustrated that there was no answers. They started to want to test for more serious things. They didn't want to be that aggressive before but they had no results. His blood work shows typical patterns of Leukemia (possibly). The doctors didn't think it was likely but wanted a bone marrow test. Since he would go under for that, they also ordered a spinal tap to test for meningitis. They kept saying it's possibly a Rheumatology related issue but no one was positive. He had no classic "by the book" symptoms (they said). Specialist after specialist and they still had no answers. 

A week later (with no results) they sent him home. 

Finally together

Logan was referred to UCSF. They didn't think it was an autoimmune disease. We saw the hematology doctor at the cancer center weekly and did blood draws weekly... His white blood cells were low. Others were high... tests were all over the place. No one could make sense of it. There were only "it could be... It's possibly..." But nothing for sure.

Logan was weak. He slept a lot. I was so worried. We always tried to comfort him and make him happy. Whenever he smiled, it was enough to light up the room. 

Eventually his fever lowered to the 100s. We stopped giving him medication on 8/21 because at one point he was vomiting a lot and ended up in the ER.  August 22nd was the first time his temp dropped back to 98. Over the next month although his blood tests showed abnormal results he started to look better and became more active. The hematologist decided we could stop seeing her and said maybe it was just a really bad virus that dragged on. We did find out through all this that he's a bit anemic and has the Thalassemia trait. Although he didn't lose too much weight, he looked so thin and fragile. 

He's had a few colds since then and one day of a fever (which freaked me out). It's going to be like this... I will freak out every time he has a fever. Every. Time. 


The weirdest thing of all this? The week that he stopped having fevers, my mom asked me about the date he started having his fever (July 19th at Donner Lake). She went to a shaman or looked in one of their old religious books and came back to me and said that when we were camping, there were two evil dead spirits that "touched" him in a wrong way. They took his spirit with them and that's what caused him to get sick. One spirit died from drowning in the lake and the other died from a fallen tree.... They then had someone do some religious thing to ask for his spirits back. I know a lot of people would say "it's a coincidence". I don't know if this is why he got better but since none of the doctors could figure it out (One doctor even said they were embarrassed). I would like to believe whatever my parents did for him helped. I grew up in this type of environment. Eventually all my older brothers and parents converted into a different religion. Somewhere deep down, I still believe in all this stuff but now I just have no one to follow...