It's true, the first one (for me) was the hardest. I'd just spent a couple of years (was that it? It felt like many, many years) trying to have a baby. When he finally arrived I only got to spend 3 months with him... and had to go back to work. I felt sad everyday on the way to work after dropping him off at daycare. He didn't take the bottle very well so he wouldn't eat until I got home. This meant he spent his day not eating and nursed every hour through the night. Leaving him was so hard... Eventually it got better but never easier.
With my 2nd son, I decided to take more time off. After 3 months, I returned to work part time for another 3 months. Even then I was fortunate enough to work from home half the time! This worked out great because my 2nd son was sooooo easy compared to the first. I expected things to be the same or worse but it was better. "Better" because he was a good sleeper. He napped well and was very entertained with all his toys. I still felt sad when I returned full time when he was 6 months old. Maybe it's because I spent more time with him and bonded with him longer. Or maybe it was the hormones? LoL
A year later and I'm back on maternity leave, only this time I'm low on leave time to cover my health insurance. I wanted to take 6 months off. I ended up taking a little less than 5 months. This time, it seemed like the day to return came faster! I guess the more kids you have, the faster time flies!?
Two days before starting work, my baby's eczema flares and I had to take him in the day I was supposed to return to work. Feeling frustrated and sad for my baby, I didn't want to leave him. I wanted to take care of him and make sure I keep his eczema under control and give him his meds...etc. But I knew this is what it is to be a working mom, having to leave your baby with someone else so you can work to support the family.
This is us at Kaiser all swaddled up so he doesn't scratch or rub his face/head.
Photos I took of him the night before. It doesn't help that he's drooling excessively too. :(
The doctor gave him antibiotics. Says he wants to be more aggressive in treating the eczema.
Anyway as I was driving to work, a plastic bucket fell out of a truck that was driving in front of me in the freeway! Luckily I was able to avoid losing control and avoid hitting the rolling bucket! Imagine a football bouncing around. You never know which way it's going! It was like that except I'm going 65mph trying to avoid it!
I was convinced that the universe was trying to tell me I'm going in the wrong direction! Haha
While I was on leave, I (or my stuff) was moved twice from one building to another building. All my belongings were in boxes. So I spent the day unpacking and pumping. Since it's the day after the New Years holiday, It was quiet at work.
A selfie from the pump room (so thankful for that amenity at work!).
I brought recent photos and put them up in my cubicle. I missed them. My 3 little rug rats.
Update: A week later I was moved to a window seat! It makes being at work all day a little better. It's more quiet and peaceful and I just love natural light. It's been awhile since I had a window seat. I used to go outside and soak in the sun on breaks.
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